My Troubles Shall Now Be Yours

My Troubles Shall Now Be Yours 

By: Kyler Stubblefield 

  Insecurities within oneself can affect how they treat others. Society has a way to place power and standards upon individuals which gives them the idea that they have to be a certain way. 

 Jessie Redmond Fauset discusses the concept of racial identity, self-insecurity, and "passing" inside American culture in the story Comedy: American Style. The character Olivia Blanchard Cary is a mother that is ashamed of her true identity of being “black” or of African American descent. She was humiliated during her youth in a way that made her hate the color of her skin. Throughout the rest of her life, Olivia made sure that she passed for white so that she and her family didn't have any issues. However, Olivia doesn’t realize that her insecurities are what keeps her from the support of her children. The setting of the story reflects a time when whites and blacks were not considered equal in American history. The order of power or acknowledgment followed such: White men, White women, Black men, Black women. In American society, it has always been the burden of everyone else laid upon black women. Mrs. Olivia Blanchard Cary does not understand that her racism or cruelty towards African Americans is the root of her own self-hatred. Her daughter Teresa is the first to experience the cruelty of her mother when she tries to communicate with her “colored” friend Marise.“Momma, why can’t I play with Marise? Of course, Phebe is all right and I like her very much. But I like Marise best. She’s such fun ” (34). The comments Teresa says to her mother Olivia illustrates to the audience that the child is totally disconnected from society protocol that she simply enjoys a person for their personality. The reaction of Olivia to the request of her daughter reveals to the reader that she tries to keep her family as white as possible. “Now, Teresa it isn’t worth while going all over this matter again. I don’t mind Phebe here; in fact I rather like Phebe. But I don’t like to have colored people in the house if we can possibly avoid it” (34). The reader can see through this dialogue that the childhood trauma of Olivia has taken hold of her view of Black people as a whole.

Olivia was never portrayed as a typical mother throughout the story. Her characteristics and disposition were never of a loving and caring nature. She deliberately made it her position to ensure each of her children lived the lifestyle she wanted for herself. Her selfish acts and one-sided decisions separated her from the children she gave birth to. This kind of behavior is still found in today’s society. “An insecure friend is often unhappy because she is constantly comparing herself to those around her — including her friends. She can never be truly happy for the people around her because down inside the accomplishments, milestones, and come-ups of her loved ones will always make her feel less than. This slowly eats away at the foundation of friendship over time because the average person can tell when someone is not genuinely happy for them” (Jazmine Denise) . Letting go of judgement, doubt, comparisons to simply be yourself allows you to connect with others positively. What many individuals fail to understand is that the problem is not always someone else, sometimes it can be the person failing to acknowledge their faults. “The psychology behind this process stems from the theory of the Viennese psychoanalyst Alfred Adler, who coined the term inferiority complex. According to Adler, people who feel inferior go about their days overcompensating through what he called “striving for superiority.” The only way these inwardly uncertain people can feel happy is by making others decidedly unhappy. To Adler, this striving for superiority lies at the core of neurosis” (Susan Krauss Whitbourne Ph.D.). 

Insecurities have a way of making any person feel separated from others. Lacking what is bestowed in another is not a reason someone should doubt their own abilities. Being of full confidence allows every individual to connect with one other in some form of positivity. Negative thoughts or concerns, even judgments, can hinder anyone’s interpretation of another. Being the most positive being is the best way to go along with life. The energy it takes to create hostility is the same energy anyone can put in create unity, it is up to you to decide which road is the best one to take.

Sources Used:

https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/blog/fulfillment-any-age/201511/4-signs-someone-is-probably-insecure

(https://madamenoire.com/1119005/can-we-talk-about-how-insecurity-kills-friendships/)